Tomi: Spirituality is Ability
If someone had asked me about community living two years ago, I would have said “I’ll never live in a community. And I will probably never stop eating meat.” I never had a wish to live in a community, I was never even considering it. I was enjoying my “regular” way of life in Croatia.
For many years of my adult life I had been interested in spirituality, in exploring myself beyond this physical realm. But spirituality had been more like an additional spice in my daily life, like an important hobby. Reading about it, taking courses about it and applying new learned knowledge in “regular life” to get what I wanted from it. Then, two years ago, my girlfriend and I went on a “spiritual trip” to India.
On the third day of our trip we stumbled upon an open Satsang with Guruji Sri Vast. We were inspired by the teachings and decided to stay longer in the ashram. With each passing day, we were realizing more and more that life can be lived differently. We were realizing that spirituality is not only a nice handy tool to “manage life” better, but that spirituality can be lived everyday as a first priority. We felt that there was so much more depth within us which had been waiting for us to be ready to explore. It became clear to me that if I really wanted to explore who ‘I am’ – as I had been claiming for such a long time – that this was the moment to question what “regular life” actually means. This was a step into the unknown which I had to take, which was inevitable. This was a rare and auspicious opportunity to give life the ultimate dosage of meaning.
This was the time for a new beginning. Our spiritual tourism was over, our tourist
approach to life was over. One month later we found ourselves living in the Divinya community in Sweden. Since then spirituality has become a part of every moment, of every interaction. I understand now that spirituality is the ability to respond, to practically engage in anything that pops up in front of me, instead of justifying my inability with a comforting story.
Spirituality is ability!
I can see now that there is a divine potential in everyone. I am realizing that every moment and every situation has the potential to bring peace, bliss, beauty and clarity to me, to invoke divine qualities and make them physical. I am realizing that the obstacle to really live that potential is the idea of “me”. That my identities can influence my senses, play with my perception and interfere with my ability to see reality clearly, much more than I could have ever imagined.
I am realizing that true transformation lies in dissolving, not in becoming.
In these two years I have learned that the ability to relate to people can be broadened beyond the regular concepts of family, friends, nation or religion. I have realized that any idea of separation, from a human being in front of me or from a task in front of me, is self-inflicted. I don’t need to create opposition towards anything, I can include everything and everyone in my life.
I have also become aware how bumpy the road to self-realization can be, how many obstacles and hidden traps there are. How our ego can be resistant to change. How it can be tricky and persuasive in defending itself from dissolving and preventing me from transforming my old patterns.
In these two years, many meanings have changed their shape. The meaning of the word “regular” has changed its shape hundreds of times: regular life, regular perspective, regular way of relating, regular approach to everyday situations…
Today, living with a Master and the community seems very regular.
Today, I know how privileged I am to have this opportunity.
Today, this is the only road that makes sense to me.